Rock It

Everyone has a different body type; Hour glass, pear shaped, boyish figure, rail thin or curvy. You are all beautiful, all of you. So stop telling me I'm not, don't look down on me because I am thin because I think your curves make you special. Don't tell me I'm not attractive because my hip bones poke out because I love the way you own your shape. Quit telling me I should eat a sandwich, stop throwing

up and that I look sallow because you are a work of art. Stop pitting against me because I'm little, because we all need to work together to change how we view our bodies. Instead of waging war, let's support each other, because we are all uniquely beautiful and no one is going to notice if we don't tell them.

Self Segregation

You know what pisses me off? The idea of having a living learning community for LGBTQ (and the rest of the alphabet (don't even get me started on that)). I recently read in the school newspaper, (which I really should stop reading because it makes me angry every god damn time) that the Alphabet center and pride alliance were trying to push for this community.

This is the dumbest idea I have ever heard. You know what we really should be pushing for? Not separating ourselves. What this does is point out that we are different, that we are not equal to other people. You will never get equality if you can't integrate yourself in with other people, we will never get equality if we just give up on gaining acceptance and pointing out how we are different.

I understand trying to create a community where people feel safe to be who they are, but what is the point if you are only bringing into your community people that are the same as you? That doesn't create change. We need to go out and live comfortably with people that are different so that we can all learn that it is easier to get along and accept one another than we think

Everyone knows that we are different, it's what has caused so many problems. What we need to do is point out that we are all the same. Human.

Diet Coke and a Pizza Please

Now, I'm going to preface this with I hope she doesn't mind that I am writing about this. Some details  are left out due to respect to my mother.

So, I was sitting in the car with my mother on Saturday night and we were talking about weight. She has always been a little insecure about it (though god knows why, she's as gorgeous as she was a bazillion years ago) and I was telling her she was being absolutely ridiculous, that she's not fat. I then tell her that I weight around 130 lbs and she turns and looks at me and says "no you're not!" and I say "... Yes I am..." and she says "I don't believe you." I then said again "...Yes I am..." or something. She turns and looks and me and says "well, you don't show it."

Now, I love my mother and I am, in no way, trying to make fun or paint her out to look like a terrible person. She said something that she thought was comforting to me. However, it was that response to my weight that got me thinking. Why was her automatic response to tell me that I don't look as fat as I am? (for the record, I don't think I'm fat, I have never had any insecurities about my body about from my boobs) Why has my response to her always been "shut up, you're not fat"?What the fuck does being fat even mean? Fat is a state of mind; it is a self hating, self deprecating word used only to insult. There is no specific weight limit that defines the word "fat" (fuck the BMI). We whisper the word "fat" like it is a curse word, like it is the equivalent of the "c word" or the "n word".

Why does our weight make us attractive? A slam I once heard* had a beautiful quote in it that I don't think that I will ever forget. "I told my boyfriend I felt fat. He said "No, you're not fat, you're beautiful". I wondered why I couldn't be both". That is the best quote I have ever heard in regards to this situation. Mother, I'm done telling you that you are not fat, because that implies that being heavy is a negative thing. It is telling bigger girls that they are ugly because of their weight. I can't tell someone that they are not fat and then turn around and tell someone else that they are beautiful no matter how much they weigh.

I told my mother that I weighed 130 lbs (gasp! I am telling my actual weight to everyone on facebook!) and her response was to tell me that I didn't look it. What happens when I do? It is a terrible thing to say to someone, that they look skinny. It starts them down this path of self hate. They feel like they have to live up to your expectations and freak out when live throws them stuff that they can't control. Things like medical problems, depression, having children, they all contribute to weight. It is preposterous to expect women and men to maintain the same weight through out their lives. Why can't the stretch marks and fat be beautiful? They show you are alive and thriving.

There is one thing that I constantly live in fear of and that is the effects that age is going to have on my body. I don't want wrinkles, I don't want saggy boobs and droopy eyes. I am terrified of grey hair and crows feet. The only reason that I am afraid is because I hear, every day, people complaining that they are getting grey hair, that they have another line on their face. Logically, getting older should be a beautiful thing. It shows wisdom and strength. Why is it so unattractive? Why is being bigger unattractive?

You know what we should all do? For one day, replace the word "fat" with the word "beautiful". That way, when we wake up in the morning and look at ourselves in the mirror, we say "man, I really look beautiful today".

*If any of you know her name, I would like for you to come up and give credit where credit is due plz.

Dear One Million Moms

I know that I have been ranting about everything that has been making me angry lately and not really going out and doing anything about it. I've just been super busy. However, I'm going to do it again. Because I'm pretty hulk smash about a lot of stuff going on right now.

Now, I went on to the facebook page of "One Million Mom's", which was a huge, massive mistake on my part. I know that they tend to get me all angry and stuff, and I know that there is nothing that I can do to force some semblance of sense into these womenfolk’s mouths, but I couldn't help myself. I had to give into the temptation once again. For those of you that don't know, "One Million Mom's" is a super "christian" (I put christian in quotes because I know some that aren't crazy) organization that is trying to get rid of everything not pro bible related. Think of the people that are lobbying to get things taken off of television channels because they are "too offensive" for their children to be watching. For example, there is a show that may or may not be starting some time next year about a lesbian couple raising a couple of children. They already have a petition on their site to get the show off air. You even think of the name Ellen, you're going to be bombarded with psychic flames. That kind of crazy. Now, I have some questions for One Million Mom's that they have yet to get back to me about (because they delete people that don't agree with them on their page and make it so they can't post anything else... no matter how mature and nicely put it is... cowards). I know they will not personally answer these, because I am beneath them as a godless heathen that just wants some damn equality, however I want everyone else to mull these over and tell me what  you think their answer would be. Then explain.

#1. Why are you sickened by your own body? You set out a campaign to remove all swimsuit editions of magazines from dollar general. I don't want to hear about the bible. I want you to step away from that and give me a logical answer, no religion. If you can answer without using your "handbook", I will be impressed and approach you as an equal in my counter argument.

#2. Why are you threatened by equality? Again, no bible please.

#3. Why are you so afraid to question your own religion? Is your faith that weak? Why can't others question it without you getting offended. You can probably use the bible in this answer, I won't be too picky.

#4. You tried to get a bra commercial removed from the television... Seriously? It was... MAYBE PG13 if we are going to be really strict. Boobs are great, hold them up proudly (as that bra probably did)

#5. You all can't be serious. Do you all really believe the things that spew out of your.... keyboards? Or is this organization a social experiment? Please please please tell me this is a social experiment. If not, then YOU are the reason women are still struggling to attain equality. Thank you, from all of the women in America, thank you for trying to set us back a few decades.

War on Women or Overreaction?

There has been a lot of talk about the war on women. You know what I think? Everyone is overreacting. What makes a war is blood, sweat and tears. No blood has been lost (unless you count loss of health care), sweat is not being shed (unless you count the amount of work being done by women for less pay)... Tears shed? What do women have to cry about? They have everything. Except trust, protection and safety. Wait... War, you say?

I'm using my pen as my M16 and finding out what it means to be the underdog in a country fighting with wolves. How are you not angry? How is the fire not burning in your soul as it is burning our freedoms to the ground?

Fuck you. Fuck you for condoning torture, for sending out the message that it is okay to rape me because I will enjoy it. For telling my sisters that they children they will be forced to carry prove that they were not legitimately raped. Prove that they lied, fake tears cried, their claims unjustified.

A part of them died that night, you know. Or you don't. At least... I hope you don't, because if you did, what does that make you?